Monday, 6 June 2016

Tap, tap, tap

Have you ever been scared of something but it turns out to be ridiculous, like something jumps into your camp cabin but it's just a possum trying to get a snack. Well I have, and this experience involves a tv, me, my mum, and an evil being.

(My perspective)
I'm in bed staring at my roof trying to get to sleep. It's boring staring at this plain white roof boring, boring, and still boring. When is something exciting going to happen?

“This is news, news, news, news!” (I hear in the distance coming from the lounge)
“...and we’re here with a report of a mysterious tall black figure, tapping on windows and then when people go to check, the tall figure just stares at them and then leaves after a while.”
Woah thats creepy I say to myself. I swear under my breath. “Fudge sticks”. I shiver with fear like I had just been jump scared by Freddy Kruger.

(Mum's perspective)
I stumble into bed, not knowing what will happen next. My eyes are glued to my phone, not really thinking about anything in particular.
It's twelve o’ at night and I'm sitting in bed waiting for something to happen. And then suddenly I hear a tapping noise on the window. Tap, tap, tap. I wonder what it is. Oh no, maybe it's that guy I heard about on the news...
By now I feel like curling up in the corner of my bedroom and dying, but I overcome my fear and scramble to the window, swipe away the curtains, only to see nothing but the pitch black night sky. I jump back into bed with an uneasy feeling, like someone's hiding in my closet ready to slaughter me.
Then I hear a tap, tap, tap… As it's getting closer and closer, I have random thoughts zooming through my head. Am I going to die? Why me? I'm not ready for this! I creep over to the curtain, starting to regret this. But I push away the curtain anyway and it turns out it was just our cat trying to get inside.

(Cat perspective)
“Why hello hairless ape”.
“Would you be ever so kind enough to let me in”
(mum opens window)
“Thank you. Now I'm going to fart on your son's face and begin to beg for food”.
“Good bye slave”.

(My perspective)
“Well hello there”. Ew what's that smell. Meow Squeaked the cat.


I was learning to use the present tense in my writing and to structure my writing into paragraphs.
I improved on using emotions to evoke the reader.
My next steps are to focus on my writing by working by myself, and to punctuate my writing as I go.

1 comment:

  1. That is one of the most funny pieces of writing I've ever read! Literally. I love it how you thought it was a person tapping on the window, but it was actually your cat! And how you say your Mum's eyes are glued to her phone (I can relate to that... but with my and my iPad!) I want to write a story now, but with different people's perspective (I do that but with chapter books, I wanna try this kind of short story!) 🙀